Dr. Emily Morse shares her expertise on sex, relationships and everything in between! Submit your questions to Emily at sexwithemily.com/ask-emily. For more sexy fun, visit sexwithemily.com and our online store shop.sexwithemily.com. Order her new book today: SMART SEX: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure.
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People. A lot of women, especially, like It's like, oh, accidentally Wrong hole. Oops. Wrong hole. Like, that's no. And I and I think it's yeah. I don't think that a lot of partners are trying to do that, but that does happen. And it's can be really terrifying and traumatizing because you're not warmed up. There's no lube. Like, anal sex without lube is like It's also the permission thing too. Right? I'm like, I don't want that. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta have heavy consent. Do you orgasm when you have penetration, or do you need others another stimulation to have an orgasm? I need stim I need a lot of warm up and stimulation to have an orgasm during penetration. But if I have an orgasm during, like, beforehand, I can have an orgasm during penetration. Like, if I've already worn out on this, if this is your vagina. Mhmm. Do you wanna put it? Yeah. It is my vagina. Hold on. I'm touching my vagina. Okay. Here's your This is my second vagina. Touch your vagina. This is my pocket. Okay. So I will need a lot of, stimulation, maybe oral sex, like opening up, like, the labia. And these are all remember, the clitoris is here, but it has nerve endings that go deep behind the labia. Mhmm. And so if I'm adequately stimulated and aroused and can have an orgasm this way Mhmm. Then all of the, the pelvic floor muscles and the muscles responsible for orgasm are, like, charged and energized. And so I didn't keep, like, keep it flowing that when I then have penetrated sex, it's like the orgasm has already come out. One of them maybe it's building, and then during penetration I can have an orgasm. Does that does that help? Do you mean is that Yeah. I really you know what? I always love it when you pull out your second vagina. I'll be right back, but real quick, let me tell you about Lelo's Dot travel vibrator. Now, you might have heard of their Dot. It is a really popular toy. It's a pinpoint vibe that directly stimulates your clitoris. Well, now there is a travel version, which is perfect for just stashing away in your bag, purse, or suitcase just in case you need it. You never know where you're gonna need a little stimulation. But let me tell you why I love the dot. This toy is super special because of that pinpoint tip. The vibrations go only where you need them for instant pleasure. Now think about it. You know.
Oh, I think I got high wants or ticket edibles. Like, oh, yeah. This is really, really good. For me, what it did is it helped me feel more present It helps with anxiety, meaning I wasn't having racing thoughts and worried about things. It gets me in the mood. It helped me feel more connected to my body, my partner, have more orgasms. Listen, it's why you're having a cocktail at the end of the day. A lot of you will have a drink at the end of the night. Right? You come off of work, and you have a glass of wine. Or you do, you have a cocktail for many of us having edible, a tincture, a patch. However, you consume cannabis, can be a great way to take the edge off at the end of the day. Let's be honest. Work is stressful. It can be. And sometimes you want something to Relax in the moment. Feel present while it also transfers into the bedroom. I have to state the obvious, cannabis isn't legal everywhere and in some states, legality is a gray area. So I'm not encourage you to break the law at all. But if you have the legal means to explore your sexual pleasure with cannabis, this show is gonna give you a lot of guidance. I'm gonna talk about the current science, what they say about weed and sex, how I recommend you explore cannabis within your sex life, and the different delivery methods out there. So we're celebrating 4 20 this month. It's actually the Emily because I get a ton of questions about cannabis and how it can boost your sex life, but leave me. It can. If you didn't know, a recent study on cannabis insects found that over 70% of participants reported increased desire and increased orgasm intensity. And then 62% indicated that cannabis enhanced their pleasure while masturbating masturbation with cannabis. That is a game changer. And over 70% said that cannabis enhances their sense of taste and touch. So you might not have needed those results. You might already know this, but listen. One of the things that keeps us from having the sex that we want is that we get in our heads and we're worried and we're thinking about the laundry or we're thinking about how our body looks. But when you just take a little bit of cannabis, the right amount, you find that your thoughts melt away and you're able to be more present with your senses and when you're more present with your senses and you get that blood flowing, well, guess what? You have more pleasure. I
Rich and so exciting. So that was a peak. So when I first started, I went on this journey of, like, you know, trying all the things. I would get all the toys sent to me and go to sex parties and practice talking about sex with my partners and practicing what I preach and being like, oh, no. I'm not gonna fake it. Like, I'm gonna ask for oral sex. I'm gonna tell my partner to slow it down. So really when I was able to take charge of my own sexuality and realize that it was in my own hands, I think that was some great peaks. And then some valleys have come when I think when I'm in a really in a stressed place, even though I know what to do, it can be really hard to prioritize my own sex life, even though I'm like masturbate every day, do it in the shower. It's really easy. I've had times in my life where I do do that because I know it feels good, but then there's times where, like, I just I can't settle into my body. It's really hard right now. But when I come out of that valley, I realize that, oh, yeah. Of course, masturbation and sexuality and touch and intimacy is one of those things that helps lift me out. Sex begets sex. So even though I might not want it at certain times, I try to find other ways to get to it. And when I'm talking about sex, I don't just mean, like, penetration. I mean, touch or intimacy or even orgasm without penetration. Just I try to be in touch with my sensuality. It's sort of like a yawn makes other people it's contagious. I like that. It's like that contagious yawn of sex though. Right now. You're saying sex, and, like, everyone's been starting to have sex right now. Going on like rabbits. Oh, and another valley to speak to my earlier point is that during the pandemic, I just felt more isolated and cut off from daily interactions like everybody did, you know, with work. But I really felt it for my listeners. I'd been doing this SiriusXM show live. I really enjoyed the live callers and going into the studio. And it was just less inspiring to do it at home, which is why whenever I can talk to y'all in person or on the phone, it makes everything a lot more interesting, and I think better for you too. You talk a lot about sec
From an imbalance in our gut. It's amazing we didn't know this. And you remind me of when I first heard the gut is your second brain. I think that's when I first heard that a few years ago, I was like, what? Yeah. It's so connected. I mean, it it's crazy that we haven't known this. And you said that we have millions of bacteria living in our gut. Are they all bad? Some are good. Right? They're real good ones. Right? So how do we know what's bad, what's good? Yeah. No. We have trillions of bacteria that are actually really beneficial. In fact, less than 1% of bacteria is actually harmful. We are so like into this antibacterial world, like with antibacterial hand soaps, antibacterial hand sanitizers, household cleaning products that have bleach, all of these things that we're trying to kill off bacteria. But really, bacteria is so beneficial. I mean, it's critical. Babies are being born in this sterile environment, and that's not a good thing. We I mean, we don't want them to have, like, disease or, you know, like any other pathogenic bacteria, but less than 1% of bacteria is actually harmful. And that's also really hard for people to wrap their head around. We're just, like, trained to, like, get rid of bacteria. Bacteria. Yeah. Right. So we've kind of almost we've overdone it. Right? Because now they're saying that in a way we're too healthy, and that's why kids are getting a lot sicker, and there's so many other problems with hormones and other things in kids. Absolutely. Because of this, we've sort of overcorrected. We have. We've overcorrected, and we're living in this world that is so offensive to our gut health. So if we lived in a tribe in Papua New Guinea or like, you know, somewhere out in the middle of nowhere where we're eating off the land, Our ancestors were getting these really important bacteria. We are taking care of our gut. There weren't all these offenders. But if anyone living in the western world is faced with these offenders on a regular basis, so antibiotics being one of them. Antibiotics, not just that we take, but antibiotics that are found in our food supply. So we know antibiotics that we take. People are now starting to know we shouldn't be taking antibiotics all the time because we know they're so disruptive to our gut. I mean, they are like this nuclear bomb going off your gut. And we know that, like, when you're killing off your bad bacteria, you're also killing off the good bacteria and the beneficial bacteria. And studies have shown that just
To really change the trajectory of your sex life. And I'll say it on every show, communication is a lubrication. And the other thing I wanna add to that, I can't say this enough either, is that listen, experience is not about it's not a numbers game. I don't care how many people you slept with. And I can tell you firsthand, I would many people were like, oh, that person slept with all these people and they were not my best lovers. Maybe they're like, for them, it was a numbers game and they just kind of kept knocking. Now I'm going to do this one and I'm going to sleep with a 100 people. And now that's means I'm a great lover. No, it doesn't mean anything. I've eaten a lot of meals. Does make me a chef. Because I hear this a lot. People are so nervous that they don't have the experience. The great news here is that every time you're with a new partner, it's a new beginning. You can learn what your partner likes, what you're into, and the way you're going to have sex with somebody with a new partner is gonna be very different than how you had sex with someone else. So essentially, every time you're with someone, you're starting again. And what makes a skilled lover is someone who is open and curious and honest and vulnerable and pays attention, who likes to give and receive. Those are all the things that that really contribute to be a great lover, not how and who you've slept with or any really techniques per se. That's how I feel about that. Let me know what you think. This is from Dan 25 in Washington. Hey, doctor Emily. I'm a married man, but I still like to masturbate. It was a problem in my relationship last year as I wanted to have sex with my wife daily and still masturbate. Now if I do, which is rare, I feel super guilty. How can I make it so that I don't feel guilty about it anymore? My wife never masturbates and says she hates that I do and will occasionally ask if I've been doing it. And if I have, she becomes self conscious. Alright, Dan. What I'm gonna guess from your email or extrapolate here is that it sounds like you've been masturbating in the last year a lot to porn. Your wife found out or it was a secret.
